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Health & Wellness > Back
to School Jitters
BACK TO SCHOOL JITTERS
By Dr. Bhumi Upadhyay
After a long summer of relaxation and sleeping in late, it's time to get back
into school mode. Back to school can be stressful for the children and the
parents. While we parents are stressed about the cost of school supplies, the
carpooling, and possible tuition, our children are worrying about the more
immediate things like a new school, friends, new teachers, or finding their way
around school. Let’s focus on how to transition back to school times.
First, your child needs to know that you are comfortable with the transition. If
you are stressed, they will think it is a crisis. After your child knows that
this is a team effort, start working on the bedtime ritual. Too many kids stay
up late in the summer and are exhausted the first day of school. Try to push the
bedtime earlier by 15 minutes every day for 2 weeks before school starts.
Remember, our elementary kids should get at least 10-11 hours of sleep and our
middle/high school kids should get about 8-9 hours of sleep.
Second, develop a plan for the first day of school. Then practice the plan.
Organize the supplies at home-have clothes, backpack, lunch money, school
supplies all set the night before so the morning goes smoothly. Plan your power
breakfast for the next morning. Make sure you and your child have done a trial
run for the bus stop so there are no surprises that morning. Make sure to attend
student orientations so you and your child know the lay out of the school
building. Preparation is the key to comfort and confidence.
Now let’s focus on how to placate the nerves of the children. Talk and LISTEN to
your child. Asking your child about his fears and worries will help him share
his burdens. Try asking open ended questions. Once you have listened to your
child’s fears, do not lecture to them about how everything will be OK. Instead,
ask him further questions such as how or why? For example, let’s say your child
says, “I won’t be able to find my classes in middle school.” Do not just
respond, “Oh, don’t worry, you will find your classes.” This sounds encouraging,
but you are not helping him. Instead, say to him, “How do you think new sixth
graders find all their classes?” This will get his wheels churning and thinking.
This way you are not focusing on the fear itself, rather the solution! Your
child now has faced his fears rather then avoiding the situation.
Children also fear not “fitting in” with the other kids. Here are some tips to
give to your child.
- First, be yourself and do not change yourself for others.
- Smile while you walk. Most people like to get to know those who seem
they are happy and friendly.
- Try to initiate conversation-even a simple “hi.”
- Ask others about themselves. People love to talk about themselves.
- Do not make new friends by gossiping about old friends. Remember respect
others and treat others like you want to be treated.
- Join clubs and after school activities. This way you meet those with
similar interests.
- Start conversations with only 1-2 people at a time. It is usually easier
to talk and get to know each other.
- Sit with different groups of people at lunch so you can try to find
those with same interests and values.
- Remember, do not be afraid to come to the parents for advice-we have
been through the stresses of school!
Additionally, try to have your child get involved in picking the school
supplies and their clothes. When the child is involved, she feels less
nervous. Have her call one or two other kids who will be at her new school
to find out what kinds of clothes they will be buying. Also, do not buy the
entire wardrobe before school begins. Let her see what others are wearing
and then purchase the rest of the clothes. The children always feel a
comfort in being similar to others. You can research clubs and sports with
your child so she can get involved. This will give her a sense of connection
to some of her peers. When kids feel connected, they tend to succeed
academically also.
Overall, returning to school is a top stressor for kids ages 7-12. Our first
step as parents is to address the multiple fears and help our child face
them. Additionally, while we help them adjust, we can get involved with
school and community activities. This way we stay abreast of anything new
that may be going on in school. Stay informed and involved so your children
feel a level of comfort. Let’s make this school year a GREAT one!!!
Dr. Bhumi Upadhyay, a board-certified pediatrician and active member of the
American Academy of Pediatrics, graduated from the University of Miami
six-year Honors Program in Medicine. If you have questions about this
article or your child, email Dr. Bhumi at drbhumi@northeastkids.com. She is
accepting new patients; please call to get to know the doctor at (727)
526-PEDS or visit www.northeastkids.com
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