Making Time-Out Work
By Sonia M. Pérez, MA, BCBA
Many parents have found themselves sending their child to time-out at some point or another. Some find it to be a successful strategy while others continue to use it even though they will be the first to say that it does not seem to work. There are different reasons why time-out may not be working for you. Here are just a few recommendations to help you make time-out work better for you.
For example, most parents forget the key to applying any kind of punishment is that it needs to be directly related to the behavior at hand and the suspected motive for that behavior. When deciding on the consequences that will be used for an inappropriate behavior, it is important to take into consideration what your child is trying to gain from engaging in that behavior. If your child is engaging in an inappropriate behavior it is likely that he or she is getting something out of it, whether it is your attention or escaping an undesired task or activity.
Also remember that time-out is time away from reinforcement, by reinforcement we mean attention, toys, activities or other things that your child may find enjoyable. This is why time-out chairs or naughty mats are usually placed away from the “fun,” away from their bedroom, toys, TV, etc. Do not talk to your child while he or she is in time-out, by engaging them you will be reinforcing their inappropriate behaviors.
If when sent to time-out your child continuously gets out of the time-out chair, calmly go get them and place them back on the chair without making eye contact or commenting on the behavior. Stay close to the chair in case they get up again so that you don’t have to chase them around the house, they love that part. Keep in mind you may have to do this several times in the beginning, do not let them see your frustration, the more boring this ritual is for them, the quicker they will learn to sit for time-out without your assistance. For children who are older and refuse to go to time-out, then they will lose access to TV, computer, telephone, games, friends etc, until they comply with the time-out.
Always use a timer, so that they see that inappropriate behaviors (ex. nagging, crying, etc.) do not make time-out go by any faster. As far as the time spent in time-out stick to the old ‘minute per age’ rule in order to keep the process developmentally appropriate for the child. Setting standards too high may set up the child for failure, while setting the standards too low may make it an ineffective punishment procedure. Note that if the timer goes off and the child continues to engage in inappropriate behaviors simply walk into the area, take the timer and add 1 to 2 more minutes to it, do not look or engage with your child, as this will provide attention to the ongoing inappropriate behaviors. A child should not leave the time-out area unless they are calm. By waiting until they are calm you are rewarding an appropriate behavior, i.e. being calm, while continuing to ignore those that are not, i.e. crying.
Once time-out is over, do not discuss the events that brought the child to time-out. Just state ‘time-out is over’ and continue on with your day. If the child was in the middle of an undesired task or activity, cleaning his or her room for example, he or she is to go back and finish cleaning up their room prior to accessing any reinforcers (toys or other fun activities), otherwise the child will learn that engaging in an inappropriate behavior leads to time-out which leads to getting out of, in this example, cleaning their room. So next time they have to clean their room, they may engage in the same inappropriate behavior to bring about that same chain of events.
Hopefully this will help make time-out a more effective tool for you to use at home. Just remember every child is different so you may have to tweak the time-out procedure to make it work for your child. Just always remember to be consistent and patient.
Sonia M. Pérez is the Director of Behavioral Health at Pediatric Health Choice. Pediatric Health Choice specializes in providing a comprehensive array of healthcare services to children with complex medical and/or behavioral concerns. Sonia is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and has specialized in the field of behavior analysis for 8 years working with children with behavioral issues, language deficits and developmental disabilities. Sonia completed her undergraduate degree in Psychology and master’s in Education. She has taught many seminars in English and Spanish, topics include: verbal behavior, early intervention, and parenting skills. For more information you can contact Sonia directly at (813) 769-1170 or at sperez@pediatrichc.com.
