It Takes a Village

By: Dr. Carolyn R. Kubiak

I have held many positions during my thirty plus years in my field, but none have been as challenging as my job as parent and mother. My children are now grown and raising their own families and my parenting position has been relegated to that of grandparent. Recent events have impressed on me how complex the task of raising children is for today’s young parents.

I was struck by this when I saw the entertainment guide which accompanied my Sunday newspaper. For many young families the TV guide has a life that out lives the day’s newspaper. Prominently displayed on the cover of the guide is a picture advertising a new television show depicting what might be a young teen pictured with her “parents”. It looks as if the “mother” is holding a martini glass in her hand with “daughter” standing between mom and dad and secretly passing a pouch of what might be construed to be “”marijuana to a male who might be her “father”. I am choosing my words carefully here to give the editor of the newspaper the benefit of the doubt.
If in fact the old saying that it “takes a village to raise a child” is as correct in this day and age as it was in the past, our village is not doing its job in assisting in that task. Instead of helping parents to raise our precious children, they are sabotaging the efforts of many parents who struggle to raise their children. This was not the only encounter that I have had with the media recently that raised the level of my concern.

As I watched the 5:00pm news on television recently two co-anchors on a local channel reported an apparent attempted abduction of a young girl by using baseball metaphors to describe the potential perpetrator’s actions as “attempting to hit a home run” and not “making it to first base.” It seemed to me that this crass attempt to be funny or cute trivialized what might have been a very serious and potentially heartbreaking story. How totally inappropriate! I immediately phoned the channel to register my disapproval.
Perhaps my heightened sensitivity is a result of a recent visit with my grandsons in Illinois. We went to the theatre one evening to watch a newly released movie advertised for young children. When we left the theater I told my daughter that I was amazed at the number of sexual innuendoes in the script. She had been aware of one, I of four. How sad! Even when young parents are doing their best to screen for age appropriate entertainment, they are being torpedoed by the media.
It is no wonder that newspapers and media moguls decry the drop in readership and movie goers. Perhaps they need to assess the problem from the perspective of their viewers. Unfortunately, parents can no longer trust that our “village” is operating with their children’s best interests at heart.

For my small part, I will continue to register my personal disapproval by contacting the local media directly when they fail to help protect our children. It is a grandmother’s duty.

Dr. Carolyn R. Kubiak, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Board Certified Clinical Sexologist, maintains a private practice in St. Petersburg specializing in Couples Therapy.