Children running you ragged? Try some Smart Discipline?

by Thea Rozetta Lapham

It’s 11 a.m. and your son’s room looks like a hurricane blew through it. You tell him to clean it up. Nothing happens. You tell him again at noon. Nothing happens. At 3 p.m. you start to “lose it” and threaten to take away all privileges if he doesn’t clean his room. Four hours after the original request, you’re 10 degrees past frazzled, your son has sped off on his bicycle and his bedroom is still knee-deep in clothes, toys and items resembling alternative life forms. But it doesn’t have to be this way, according to Larry J. Koenig, Ph.D., author of Smart Discipline. The book, published by Harper Collins and available in six languages — including Arabic — is empowering parents around the globe to take control of their family life and create a “real world” environment of rules and consequences for their children.

Through his “Smart Discipline” seminars, Koenig teaches parents how to motivate their children without screaming. He also helps them minimize bickering, defiance and whining. The Louisiana-based speaker says that “parents even learn how to get children to clean their rooms!”

Dee Dee Melancamp of Orlando, Florida, says, “I had lost hope over my 13-year-old and her bad attitude, until I spent a wonderful evening learning about the ‘Smart Discipline’ system. It’s six months later and I’m thrilled to report our daughter has rejoined the human race.” It’s comments like this — and the countless other kudos that Koenig has received — that led Families on-the-go magazine publisher Barbara Doyle to invite this dynamic speaker to Pinellas and Hillsborough county for two seminars in January.

In addition to learning how to use the “Smart Discipline” system, parents who attend the seminars will learn how to encourage their children’s self-confidence while curbing negative attitudes. “As adults, we have rules and consequences for breaking those rules,” he says. “If we don’t show up to work, we get fired. If we don’t make our house payments, we get evicted. Children have to have rules and be taught that there are consequences for breaking those rules. “Typically, parents don’t hold their children responsible for their behavior. They get lectured to, screamed at and threatened but nothing happens. There are no consequences for their behavior. Life just doesn’t work like that.”

Koenig, who punctuates his seminars with liberal doses of humor, uses a variety of analogies when speaking about rules and consequences. “Imagine a game of football with rules but no consequences. It would be absurd! Or no consequences if you disobeyed the rules that say to drive on the right hand side of the street or pay your taxes? Life would be an absolute mess without rules and consequences. It’s the same way for families.”

Koenig also teaches parents how to be consistent, another key component to the program’s success. “When parents get into the heat of battle with their kids, it’s easy to lose ground,” he says. “Through ‘Smart Discipline,’ parents learn how to sit down with their children — before things happen — and map out a plan of behaviors. It works out really well for both the parents and the children.”

Parents can start implementing the “Smart Discipline” program with children as young as 3 years old: particularly the portions that deal with building a child’s self-confidence. It’s a program that parents and children can grow with throughout the teenage years.

“I recently conducted a nationwide survey and found that the biggest concerns for parents involved disrespectful language, fighting and bickering,” Koenig says. “The other thing that parents often mention is the fact that children have to be told to do things again and again and again. Only after the parent loses their temper does the child do what they were asked.”

For more information on “Smart Discipline,” and Koenig, go to www.smartdiscipline.com. To attend Families on-the-go Education Fair and Smart Discipline seminar register on line at www.familiesonthego.org or see the inside back cover for more information.