|
“Hurry up, you
need to get ready for soccer practice, then I’ll drop you off
at dance and dad will then pick you up and take you to your
piano lesson. We will be home by seven to have dinner, do your
homework and go to bed.” Sound familiar? This scenario is a
common middle class American household. We as parents are
trying to be the best parents and only have good intentions,
but we need to stop and look at the effects on our children.
Organized
activities are wonderful and instill self-confidence in our
children but too much of it can harm them also. Children
involved in sports and church activities definitely are more
likely to stay out of trouble with drugs and criminal
activities. However, with the over scheduling, our children
are also more likely to be stressed and depressed and then at
an increased risk for the high-risk behaviors.
What are
overscheduled children missing? They are missing time to play
with nature and to express free creative thinking. When
children are given time to just play or “be bored”, they will
read, write stories, make crafts, draw, fantasize. These types
of activities help them clarify what they truly enjoy. Over
scheduling actually teaches your child to be dependent and
possibly hyperactive. They will not learn to think on their
own because their activities and daily schedule are always set
for them. They will not know what to do with their “free
time.” They will see the parents running from place to place
and will model their behavior after us-hyperactive, not able
to be calm and relaxed. Parents are also affected by the over
scheduling. We sacrifice our personal time with our spouse so
we can chauffer them to the activities. We lose quality family
time to play games, laugh, and read books.
How did we
become an overscheduled society? Hundreds of years ago,
children were an economic asset and slowly now have become an
economic liability to the family. We now try to gear our
children to be successful and think that if we prepare them
for college at the age of 10 or start them in professional
sports at 5 , we will guarantee a future. However, there is
early burnout in college students and increasing sport
injuries in young athletes. So, are we helping or harming? We
think that the one to read first will be the famous author or
the one who walked first will be a great athlete. All those
are misconceptions, and many success stories are from those
who overcame adversity and disabilities. We are only teaching
our children to be workaholics who need to win at whatever
cost-a very unhealthy attitude.
What should we
do as parents? Take Aristotle’s advice, “Everything in
moderation.” Children should participate in sports. They
should learn a musical instrument, but they should have free
playtime every day to allow their own creativity to show. My
most enjoyable times are not watching my son play soccer or my
daughter do karate, but to secretly listen to their make
believe games with their stuffed animal in our living room.
Remember, the winner of the rat race is still a rat. Break out
of that box and let your children be children.
Dr. Bhumi Upadhyay, a Board Certified Pediatrician and active
member of the American Academy of Pediatrics, graduated from
the University of Miami six year Honors Program in Medicine.
If you have questions about this article or your child email
Dr. Bhumi at
drbhumi@northeastkids.com. We are accepting new patients
please call to get to know the doctor 526-PEDS
back to top
|
