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Feature Articles
May / June 2007
Remember
Single Mothers
By
Mark Merrill
If being a mother is a labor of love,
then being a single mother requires double the labor and double
the love. Without a father around, single mothers have to give
twice the hugs, twice the affection, and twice the attention, with
half the time, half the energy and often, half the resources.
Just about everyone
knows a single mom. The U.S. Census Bureau says almost a third of
all U.S. children are being raised in a single-parent home headed
by a woman. But do we ever look beyond the statistics and think
about what it really takes to parent without a partner?
Some of the highest hurdles single
moms face are financial, the day-to-day challenges of meeting
basic needs. Only half the mothers due child support get the full
amount; 25 percent get nothing at all. Therefore it’s not
surprising that almost 50 percent of single moms and their
children live in poverty, compared to eight percent of families
with a married mom and dad.
And whatever your
opinion of single motherhood, most women who are single parents
probably didn’t set out with that as a goal. Divorce accounts for
46 percent of all single parent households, unwed mothers 25
percent, marital separation 21 percent, and death of a spouse
seven percent. But no matter why a mother is on her own, we need
to encourage these women and the 14 million children living in
their homes.
We should all consider how we can make
the day in and day out job of single parenting easier. If a
single mother also works outside the home, her mom duties resume
as soon as she walks in her front door. Want to see her face
light up? Fix dinner for her family and have it ready when she
arrives.
Childcare demands
are also tougher when it’s only mom doing the picking up and
dropping off for ballet, baseball, or band practice. Find out who
the single moms are among your children’s circle of friends, and
see if you can take some of their taxi duty. Perhaps you can help
a single mom by mowing her yard, running an errand for her, or
washing her car. You can even get your own children involved. In
the process, they’ll learn lessons in kindness, hospitality, and
giving.
If you really want
to make her day, offer to watch her kids while she spends an
evening with a friend or a relaxing day at the park or beach.
It’s tough being a single mother and not always easy to ask for
help.
So on this Mother’s
Day, think about the challenging ways that single moms’ lives are
different from other mothers’. Then think about how they are the
same. All mothers have hopes and dreams for their children, but
single mothers have to do their hoping and dreaming alone.
Mark W. Merrill
is president of
Family First, an independent, non-profit research and
communications organization dedicated to strengthening the family.
© Mark W.
Merrill. All rights reserved.
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