You have to do hard things in order to learn.
By Andrea
Pastorok, Ph.D.- Educational Psychologist / School Consultant
…..the wise words of a five year old
In a nation-wide survey conducted in
1993 and 1994 on what the public thought should be taught in
schools, “Persistence and follow through” received a 93% public
approval as did “Industry or Hard Work.” In a similar study,
“Teaching the value of hard work” ranked third among the essential
lessons we want our children to learn in school. Yet despite the
wishes of parents, there remains a big gap between parents’
expectations and reality. Far too frequently children quit, drop
out, and/or stop caring about their education and often this
transformation is seen around the ages of 12 or 13. It is not
uncommon for students at this time to lose interest in school and
to rely less and less on their parents for direction and more and
more on their peers.
To help us understand this phenomenon
better, it may be useful to recognize the 4 natural stages many
children experience as they discover the relationship between
effort, achievement, and ability:
Stage 1
- Children 3 to 5 years of age believe that by
simply trying, they can accomplish anything.
Stage 2
– Between 6 and 10, children begin recognizing
people’s strengths and weaknesses, though they tend to continue to
believe that hard work will produce success as in stage 1.
Stage 3
– Between 10 and 12, the emphasis shifts from
effort and achievement to ability and achievement. At this pivotal
point, many realize that some “able” students appear to succeed
with little effort and they begin resenting the fact that their
own success was hard-earned, while that of some of their “gifted”
peers was not.
Stage 4
- 13 years and older who begin to equate success
with innate ability only. This stage comes full circle from the
stage 1 notion that effort determines success. Instead, stage 4
children think that only the most able succeed. Their explanation
for failure is not lack of effort, but rather, lack of ability.
Consequently, many choose not to try at all.
Of course, everyone is different and
not all children stop trying. Nevertheless, many psychologists
believe it is essential that we promote the value of effort while
children are still in stages 1 and 2 of their lives. They
recommend that parents do this by praising their children,
teaching them patience as well as good work habits and
time-management skills. Parents can get help at learning centers,
which help parents to teach these kinds of skills at home.
The wise 5-year-old who inspired this
article understood his part when he said, “You have to do hard
things in order to learn.” We parents need to do our part so
our children will have the best opportunity to learn and to
succeed.
Kumon helps
your child retain the math and reading skills previously
learned…and even sneaking some new skills in from time to time!
For more information about Kumon Learning Centers call (727)
347-7323 or visit www.Kumon.com. As seen in Kumon North America
StraightTALK 04-06/2003
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